This trip down motherhood, again...

When I was pregnant with Chelsea, I had a strong feeling that I'd have a girl, and I was right. With this last pregnancy, I was so sure we were having a boy, and we had a boys name picked out. We really struggled with coming up with a girl's name, but a week before our due date we finally settled on two. So when the doctor told us it was a girl, I was shocked. It was not what I expected. Out came this bright eyed, rather large little girl, Natalie. So started Natalie's journey, and mine.

I was expecting this new motherhood to be simple, as it seemed so simple when Chelsea was young. Natalie, though, has an ability to consume all of your energy, and I'm eleven years older so I have a lot less to give. I was exhausted, which lasted for the first six months. Not thoroughly drained, just unable to feel like I had enough energy to do as much as I really wanted to. I had plans for my year of maternity leave, I wanted to be one of those crafty efficient moms who plans play dates and has other moms over. I could barely get enough energy to clean my house, let alone entertain much. I would look at other bright and cheery moms and wonder how do they do it?

Now, Natalie can move, and I'm either moving stuff out of her way, or moving her from where she shouldn't go. I've got this little one in my sight at all times. She discovered she can climb stairs, so I think I need to buy a gate. This new energy that I need to give is more mobile, so maybe I'll get into shape, but its a constant state of being on the lookout. Nothing is safe. Now I have to plan my cleaning up around Natalie's napping or Chelsea's free time (Chelsea is the BIGGEST helper ever, and she's available to babysit now too - for those that are interested).

I guess it was my expectation that motherhood would be easy that is letting me down. Expectations are my downfall; they keep me from fully enjoying life. Maybe someday I'll learn to give up my expectations and just enjoy what comes my way. For as much energy that it takes to care for Natalie, when she looks at you and smiles, everything that I've gone through is worth it. I've been blessed with a second daughter.

Motherhood, again; not exactly what I expected. But I trust that the Lord will bless me with more unexpected moments, as they are the treasures in my life.

Here is a little of Natalie... (I couldn't figure out how to upload a slideshow from Picasa, so a collage it is).